Springing Forward with Teddy !

Teddy climbs.  He is on the chair.  He is on the table.  He is on Waverly's back.  His little hands, little fingers pick berries from Cherrios.   He eats and sorts his food objects like a professor.  He is now 18 months old.  He has a personality.  He is engaged in life.  He is spending the weekend  with us !

For her fifth season, Enchantress 's first trip  starts with a blue sky and a warm day.  The water is cold 46 and the air temp is 76.  There is a breeze and a Force 5 wind, exactly on the nose.  We are with Jeff and Terri who bravely come from Charlottesville to sail  the Rappahannock's  waters.

 

We are at high tide but the North Wind has pushed the water out of  the creek.  We have 1/2 feet under the keel.  We do not step up but walk across the dock to the deck.  Waverly likes it. Teddy likes it.  I am trying to remember if I paid Tow Boat US 's fee this year. 

We motor out to  Broad creek with the new BC WR (Broad Creek wreck marker) to starboard.   We hit the bottom!  We are  on the right side of channel.  We drag for a few feet and then turn sharply into the mid channel.  The winter storms have created a new obstacle !  The water is so clear that the edges are demarcated.  I only had to look ahead but I was staring at the chart plotter.   A novice egghead mistake. 

Looking ahead, the water is so clear that I imagine we are seeing the Bay of John Smith.  Several hundred years ago, the underwater grass was like carpet to the oyster beds.  Now there is only mud.  Today it is clear mud.

Jeff is a natural and he points us North.  He loves life and his smile is infectious.  In fact, he smiles all the time!  He has been a Hobie sailor from North Carolina and has a great plan to retire and sail to the Caribbean.  He has never sent his car to a mechanic but has fixed and upgraded all of his vehicles.  He is now fixing high end BMWs and Audi s in his spare time.   He has all the attributes of a Cruiser.  He has mechanical wisdom, practical know how, but is a romantic, smitten by beautiful sunsets and people. 

Terri is his perfect complement.  She gazes across the Bay and then the River, somewhat cold but game to Jeff's plans.  After 29 years of marriage, they are like teenagers in love.  They are teenagers in love. Waverly would rather follow Jeff.   Teddy is charmed.    

Enchantress is below the bridge and the winds pick up to 20 knots apparent.  The tacks are more violent but she is responsive and turns thru the wind without a fuss.  We are more reefed than we need to be but we have Teddy and Waverly.  Rather, we have a gameful Teddy and surefooted Waverly  We are nervous grandparents responsible for  Teddy.   We are more cautious.  We, however, like Oreos and milk and subject Teddy to some new sugar highs.

"the VHF is non-operational"

Still, we see few boats on the first weekend of Spring.  Certainly no other sailboats are tacking upwind with a toddler and a large dog.   I admire  young families with children cruising  and living their dream.  They are crazy brave and resilient ! Childcare is constant.  Sailing is a jealous mistress.

We approach the Irvington bridge and decide to motor sail.  The people above are hurrying to their destinations.  We are lazily taking in the day and have to make the Bridge Marina fore 5 pm.  We are the same people but worlds apart.  Our time sense is defined by wind and waves and hunger. 

The Corrotoman  river greets us with gentle wind.  Enchantress glides along and she is now playful.   Each turn of the wheel  is a caress and  a gentle response.  She is symbiotic, part of us,  rather than a vessel.  Her batteries are however groaning and we have to use manual winches.  The E90 display shuts down.  We power up the generator to see where are headed.  The North end of Urbanna Creek has shoaled in the past, and we realign to the Southern border.  I still have not found my Boat US card but our VHF works.  We are in fine form.

Jeff takes us into Urbanna  Creek where Spring has awakened the marinas on both sides.  Mr. and Mrs.  Mullins has transformed the venerable Bridge Marina.  She is a sparking gem.  Mr. Mullins with a helpful hand and warm smile greets us.  Under his grandson watchful eye, Mr. Mullins pull Enchantress into her slip.  We feel like we just crossed an ocean but we have just come up river.

Waverly bounds along and enjoys every smell.  The Bridge marina's lounge and showers are like the Jefferson hotel.  There is coffee in the morning and DOGNUTS !  The hospitality is Southern charm and the people are kind and also interesting.  We are  next to Gordon Lightfoot's old boat.  We feel like we are in royal company.

We walk to Something Different, and Teddy decorates the floor.  The home made ice cream and chocolate cashew cake is simply stupendous.  We retire early and Teddy watches trailers of Trolls.  I pass out.   Joan rocks him to sleep and we awake nine hours later to brilliant clouds.   We had all slept like Trolls drunk with life. 

So often in life, we measure time by the clock.  We should mark the passage of time by events.  Our time sense is rich when we fill our time with loving people and meaningful  passages.  A journey up river with Terri, Jeff and Waverly, Joan and Teddy seems like a  joyful ten year voyage rather than a weekend trip.  Unexpected problems and how we solve them define our character.  Having laughter and love and sharing common experiences grows love.  We all have a kernel of common memory but we all have different interpretations of the same life.

I am in love with Joan, Terri, Jeff, Waverly and Teddy.   We climb on each other backs and into each others' hearts.  We all have had a very difficult winter.  We have many challenges ahead.  Not all paths are filled with sunny days with gentle zephyrs.   Yet we cannot paralyze ourselves with potential bad outcomes.  We cannot live in a fantasy world where everything is rosy.   We only can wish for people who are loving and kind that we can all cultivate and cherish.  We hope for a stable world not filled with capricious happenings.  We do not want foul weather but steady winds.  Yet if bad weather comes, I wish you all are lucky enough to have friends and family that love and cherish each other.    We have each others hearts and backs.  We are crew together.  We endure the storms together.

Sailing with Teddy

Teddy smiles.     His eyes see the world afresh and he is learning each moment.  Teddy's  gaze is totally engaging.  He demands your attention.  I am making goo goo sounds at him and  odd gastrointestinal sounds  come out of  my mouth. Teddy's  total body laughs.  He dances joyfully.

Teddy is few days older than nine months today.   He is more out of his mothers' womb than in it.  He is our first  grandchild.  He is a sailor and a reluctant wearer of lifejackets but we are learning together to find the best match.  Teddy brings out the best in Joan and I and also there is a camaraderie that is very different from being a parent.

Grand parenting is simply more fun than parenting.   I feel a sense of mischief and have more of a sense of play.  We are playing with Teddy as he learns how to make sense of the world.  I am learning with him and see the world afresh.  The spoon is a cool drum stick.  The floor is not just a surface to walk on but a moonscape.  It is filled with wonders and items of discovery.

Teddy s first sailing adventure was to the Urbanna Oyster festival.  He was just a few months old.  He seems to sleep a lot.   His parents are dotting loving and capable parents.  Their dictum is law and although we have raised five children, what they say about Teddy goes !   They follow more rules and regulations that we were encumbered with.  Or at least my mind remembers it that way.   Our kids were raised in the caldron of residency and training, and Joan did the lions' share of childcare.  So Teddy is allowed only formula and he is sticking to a strict food agenda outlined by his pediatrician.   He is allowed only bottled water for now and he is growing and thriving.

Teddy's sailing trip started on a  beautiful fall day in November.  Copper, Teddy's' irascible beagle, made himself perfectly at home on Enchantress.  He bounded corner to corner and left his fragments of fur behind.  When I encounter them, weeks, months later, they are little love notes left to chronicle a good time. 

Waverly and Copper are good companions and they are no longer the prime objects of mite affections.  Teddy settles into his car seat, and Enchantress leaves the docks for a short trip upriver to Urbanna.   The winds are gentle and to the Northeast but build rather abruptly as we leave Broad Creek.  The river waves are sharp and Enchantress shoulders them with a soft shudder.   We are close hauling up river as the winds build.  Enchantress heels onto her chine and grooves in.   The day is exhilarating in its freshness.  There is a briskness to the fall air.  Teddy's' first sail boat ride, Copper's first sailing outing, and our first grandchild with us on a great adventure !  These are indelible memories.

As we near Topping,  the great expanse of the Robert Norris bridge acts as a wind funnel.  The winds build to over 25 knots and begin to gust to 30.   The water grows white beards and a humming resonates from the rigging.   We are prudent to reef and finally motor sail.   We do not want Teddy's first trip to develop into a teeth clenching rail to water tacking with the sails snapping fiasco.   Enchantress gives up her sails and she becomes a motor ship, bobbing toward Urbanna.

We gaze out past Carter's Creek entrance, and there is a romantic couple on a lovely small Catalina sailing to Urbana with no jib.  He is standing in the cockpit with the tiller in hand, hair awash with wind, jaunty leg on the cockpit seat, no autopilot to diffuse his adventure.   His  love  interest is seated just forward of the cabin entrance.  Her gaze is towards her captain and they are freezing time with this moment, tacking up river, sails out.   Enchantress passes them in surrender, motoring.

Teddy does not seem to mind that we are motoring and he is a happy baby, smiling  and cocooned against the elements.  I think of all the babies that have gone West or were born to explorers.  I think of Virginia Dare.  For babies, each day is a discovery.  They just do not have to pay a college tuition to make the VCU slogan their own.

We see the Lynx, a privateer schooner, visiting Urbanna for the festival.  She is wearing only her  bikini sails on this blustery day.  She has some brave souls out with her trained crew and the Urbanna guests are enjoying the broiling river.

All too soon, the upriver journey ends and we are docking at Bridge Marina.  The owners have just built cool floating docks and have a new guest house.  They are lovely people and the dock master is efficient and knowledgeable.  We come stern to the floating docks and Enchantress lowers her transom to allow easy egress.  Kelly IV is also visiting and she as a lovely sight to see with her proud Bertram lines and happy occupants celebrating Fall.

We see the sunset with friends and friend of friends.    Teddy seems to take it all in with a twinkle in his eye.   His world is his parents and Copper and the caregivers around him.  He feels what we feel.  He can tell when we are happy and sad.  His smile is infectious.  Teddy lives moment to moment with the eternity of the future compressed in the present.   He has minimal worries and has a short memory.  Or at least, I think he does.  The windy passage is now but a few neurotransmitter molecules in his hippocampus.  He is looking towards the future.

Our children are our greatest  treasures, and grand parenting is the  icing on the cake.   Until Teddy was born and gazed his countenance upon us, I could not have even guessed at this sweet joy.   Sailing with Teddy and Mark and Abbie and Copper hopefully will be like driving to the local food market.  Commonplace but so important for the sustenance of our minds and bodies.  This memory and hope I hold onto in these troubling times.

Teddy's eyes implore us to make each day fresh and important and joyful.  Attend to those body needs but come back to laughter and kindness.   There is fun and learning even in the most mundane of tasks.  We do not need to sail to understand this lesson.  We just have to open our eyes and our hearts. 

Ships in the Desert...Burning Man Wedding

We are star dust     Billion year old carbon

---Joni Mitchell

The winds pick up to Force 6 and  swirling clouds are coming at us, port side.    The ripples in the sand are like the telltales in the water, broadcasting direction and intent.   We are bracing for the wind with our goggles and masks. Pinging sounds on the  ceiling signal rain but we are in the desert, and the sand is rain, and the air is thick with dust.  We are becoming  golden white  with the dust of dried prehistoric trout.

Joan and I are in Black Rock City,  Nevada for the annual Burning Man Festival.      Miju and her wonderful friends have been venturing out to Burning Man for the last five years as a part of Camp Star Bar F.   They are ecologically minded, self sustaining, smart, funny, and brilliant young people who remind us that we are all star dust, billion year old carbon…   Miju and Gideon were engaged here last year and they have decided to get married here too.   They had intended to have multiple weddings with the Burning Man wedding for friends and like minded people.   However, when Gideon's grandmother decided to come, it set the tone, and we all came to the playa.

Burning Man is Biblical.    There is dust.  There is wilderness.   There is the Golden Rule practiced well.   They have promoted the 10 principals (Radical inclusion, Gifting, Decommodification, Radial Self Reliance, Radial Self Expression, Communal Effort, Civic Responsibility,  Leaving No Trace, Participation, and Immediacy).   The harsh environment forces "radical inclusion."  People help people.  

There is Gifting.  There is no expectation of return of the gift, just the savoring of the act itself.  

Everything and everyone accepts you as you are.  Born naked into the world, some people revert to that state but only as a form of self expression.   Innocence.  Acceptance.  Beauty.  All in the cauldron of the unrelenting desert.  A city of 70,000  people convene, live and love and dance and leave no trace.   

We looked at the videos beforehand on YouTube.   The public at  large are fascinated by the bugs, nudity, and people in odd dresses.  We tend to compartmentalize  thing we don’t understand.  I think what really frightens people are the 10 principals and so the media looks at Burning Man as a lawless sex, and drugs, and alcohol driven event.  They could not be farther from the truth. 

We landed in Reno  at Midnight and checked into the GSR, a bastion of twenty first century commerce.  Sad people sat around brightly colored slot machines hoping for a payoff.    What they will do with the money I do not know, but they  seemed to be the living dead.  A fantasy land of fast wealth and the promise that money can bring happiness is  a caricature  of the American Dream.   This is the antithesis of Burning Man.

Since we are not "Burners", we loaded our rental with too much junk at Costco and Walmart.  The Walmart in Reno had done a million dollars of business the day before.  They had hired temporary stockers for the event.  It was Christmas in September.  Little did we understand that food is not Burning Man.  You only need water and some nuts and probably some beer.   Vinegar, lemon juice and skin moisturizer are more important.   The playa dust is alkaline and is a desiccant. 

The  best stocked place was Sportsman's Lodge where we were able to get a large cooler and camping equipment.    We did not come in an RV but resurrected our 15 year old tent, Trango 2, that has held up well.  We probably would have been more comfortable in a RV but it was not in our budget.  I am not sure people go to Burning Man to be comfortable.

The playa is not kind to machinery and to people and the hardship is part of the cleaning experience.   Art is agony.  Creation and birth are painful.  To those who come  in RVs and fly into Black Rock City Airport, it is more of a civilized exercise.    We were envious at times but perhaps they were also jealous of our hard worn BM aroma.    Memory, afterwards,  is kind to those who suffer.

The drive out to Black Rock City was uneventful.  Large well equipped RVs passed us  on the Indian reservation roads.     We were asked to respect the speed limit and followed a yellow Burner car that had many stickers.  We saw  Pyramid Lake in the distance.  A mirage like natural lake, Pyramid Lake looks unspoiled and undeveloped as it is mostly on Paiute Tribal land.  As a geographic sink of the Truckee River Basin, it depends on the outflow of water from Lake Tahoe.   A drought has been the dominant weather pattern here and the shores of Pyramid Lake have receded.

We stopped  in Gerlach for some last minute items, and there were spotty vendors selling "Burning Man outfits."   They looked out of place.   There is very little advertisement and  decommodification is one of the 10 principles.   A week free of advertisement except for "free hugs" is good for the soul.  We did not miss television or cable or the constant friction of one sports team vying against another.  Opiate for the masses perhaps. 

Burning Man is well organized.   You do feel you are entering a kind of Disney World with multiple lanes and traffic control.  Each car is greeted with care.   We received a paperback book full of information and a schedule of events.   Each camp gifts crafts and learning opportunities.  We can learn ribbon art, make parasols, participate in Gong Vibe Yoga, eat pancakes, eat naked bacon,  make music.  The actives  are too numerous to fit into a pamphlet, so there is a book!

We arrived  near dusk.   Miju and our boys, who had come a  few days earlier,  greeted us and led us to find our campsite.    Joan and I are  near the boundary at location 4:30 and  L (Laffing Sal).    The city is organized as the spokes of a large clock from 10  to 2 O clock.   Our campsite  neighbor was Ken, a commodities trader from Reno, who provided delightful company and help.

The sun set quickly.   The horizon here is broken by the Black hills.   They look rocky.   Our GPS says we are in  Lovelock, Black Rock City.   The night sky is clear but there is omnipresent wind.  We did not have much wind protection  but the Trango tent held  with the rain fly lashed down like Gulliver at Lilliput.

We percolated coffee on the Coleman stove.  We could be sitting on the back deck of Enchantress, but we are over 2200 miles away.   Music  wafes by  from the central playa.  Mutant vehicles drive by with partygoers on board.     Dust storms come and go.  We are part of the landscape.  The wind  caresses the campsite.  It is beautiful.

Tuesday brings fair weather, and we visit the line of PortaPotties.  Music, Art, Food, Shelter and PortaPotties.   Bathrooms are priorities for Burners.   The civility is culture.   There is no passing in line and everyone seems to respect people's autonomy.  Several of the PortaPotties are decorated with flowers and lights and extra nice hand fresheners.   Someone has gifted their time and bathroom décor to make it more comfortable.

Nudity is self expression and naturalness.   We did not see  Burning Man as a festival of sex and nudity.   The desert is not kind naked people.  You just don't see  Lawrence of Arabia in the buff.   Our western society commercializes sex and makes nudity shameful rather than natural.  At the same time, it sells sex as a commodity rather than as a relationship and as part of intimacy. Perhaps natural nudity is the Decommodification of the body as one of the 10 principles of Burning Man.   I am reminded of Puritanism as the  concept that someone, somewhere, is having fun.

The art is breathtaking.   In the night, the playa is filled with mutant vehicles and art comes alive.   There is mind bending music as large music cars filled with amplified sound transforms the playa into a concert hall.   People sparkle.  People are lighting bugs, fireflies parading around the playa in search of Immediacy. 

Our families are at the playa for the wedding.  Mark and Abbie are back home awaiting the birth of their first child.  Ben and Megan are adapting well and seem perfectly at ease.   They are happy.   Exuberant Reuben is dancing and having fun.   He is a Burner.   Noah is young and old and seems to be soaking in the experience.  He is a sponge. 

Gideon's family is warm and amazing.  His uncle Justin has become an Internet marriage authority to officiate the wedding,   He is like someone you think met before but haven't.  He is irreverently traditional.  His humor is inclusive as he is laughing with you.   Gideon's parents are brave and it is their willingness to come to the desert that brought the families together.     His brother and sister are also impressive people, our best young  bright hopes.

Miju is beautiful.   She is a fragile little girl who is still growing up and now getting married.  Outwardly calm and poised, she must be worried about us bumbling around Black Rock City.   She has gifted us her friends and life from San Francisco.  Courage is needed to expose your parents to your friends and your friends to your parents, especially at Black Rock City.

Sometimes, as our children grow up, they must look at their parents with a shocking eye.   They can see our foibles and limitations too clearly.   In their newly invented adult lives, they might be stunted as to think about where they came from.  Perhaps we are too conservative, too rich, too poor, or too Catholic or Jewish.  We  were probably too busy missing their childhood or too involved, helicoptering.     For no matter how  far  we go into our professional lives, we come from our parents.   A basic  component of our genetics and culture still stays with us.   It might be a reactionary component for we might be opposite of our parents, but the kernels are still inside.   Brewing.

Miju and Gideon are a stunning couple.  They stand under the  Chuppah with the desert dust swirling.     The wedding was supposed to be at the Burning Man Temple but the dust storms and the high wind simply make the logistics too difficult.   So Ilyse and Justin just go with the flow and the wedding occurs at Star Bar F camp. Their neighbors, Sexy Pirate Ship Camp,  were going to have a loud  party but they turn down the music and attend the wedding.   There at the intersection of 4:30 and E (Erastrz) is Star Bar F camp.   As the wedding occurs, life happens.   There are people walking and riding and if they choose, they stop and attend.   There are no walls.  Motion of people and dust and traffic make the boundaries.

We did not know what to expect.  There is no walking down the aisle.  There is no aisle.  Gideon's Godfather plays the electric piano.   There is a two person string ensemble.   An Australian Aboriginal blow worm pipe leads Gideon and Miju to the gathering.  They simply walk in from the street.   A blend of people in the  background, and they magically appear.   I am reminded of the chiascura.

A series of attestations from loved ones follow.   Joy recites a beautiful play poem.  Best friends, brothers, fathers talk about Miju and Gideon.   Gideon speaks his heartfelt thoughts and feelings about Miju.   He seems to be transformed and he is beautiful in his honesty and earnestness and love.  Miju promises to Joan that she will one day, in the future, have kids.   They share a bubble together that is unique and private.  A ritual is transformative and this wedding changes us as well as the couple.  

They make their vows privately, to each other,  as we stand around them with flaming sparklers.   The sun is setting.   There is a ring of people.  We are friends and families of Miju and Gideon protecting them while also holding burning sparklers that can harm.  There is a crowd of people at the intersection of this time event. 

After the ceremony, the worst formal reception follows.  Burners are not formal.    We forget the mints and watermelon.   The mints are in the cooler and  we could not cut the watermelon as it was too dusty.   The grapes are served in Ziplock bags.   The ice cream is made by liquid nitrogen.  The cupcakes are from the Burning Man bakery.   The icing was lovingly applied by  Megan and Miju's brothers.  Despite the lack of enteral food, there is much food for thought.    Cassidy starts the rounds of toasts from a special sister's perspective.   Tom and Jeff give heartfelt wondrous toasts.  We almost forget Joan who has been working on her toast for weeks.  She sends off Miju and Gideon with maternal love that is eternal.    We toast with rising hearts as the wedding is not about the decorations or the food. The party is not about what other people think of the entertainment.   We are the party and the entertainment.  We are the food that succors.

Everyone gets their nighttime gear on, and the the real party starts,     The "Wedding Party" bikes to the Mayan Warrior.  En mass like a giant multi linked organism across the sparking playa, we bike as a part of the community.  I thought this is what those Harley Guys feel when they become weekend road gangs.     The party goes until Sunrise.  Joan and I peel off at 1 am as it is really 4 am Eastern Time.  We dance with  Miju and her friends.   There is joy and happiness and a sensation that time is at a standstill.   Playa feet gets the best of us, and we the parental units retreat back to the boundary tent.

Gideon gives us the landmarks to ride home.  He is a remarkable young man.   We look at him in new light and love.   We feel a part of a him and feel connected.   Joan and I take off for the Eye of Zorron and Thurderdome which marks the entrance to 4:30, our Playa address.

Darkwads are a constant threat.  Joan has two crashes into darkwads.  Luckily she is tipsy and pliable and she suffers no permanent injury.   Her bruises this week might put me into trouble with Adult protective services, but they are playa burner purple spots.  Her nails change color with her body temperature and she has been a hot momma for most of the Burn.

A blur of two Stetson hats passes me and two darkwads, riding a single bike crash into Joan.   The crowd helps Joan up.  I am very angry at the Stetsons, but the people surrounding us make sure Joan is ok, and makes us all do a group hug and pacify the incident.   This is a lesson from Burning Man for everyday life.  We all make mistakes and we can be darkwads.   There is civic responsibility to make things better.  We should all help each other.   The fate of our neighbor and stranger should matter.  When a Mariner is in peril, the closest to him come to  aid.    Burning man makes this dictum a practice.

Morning follows, and we head for home.   Joan and I are more water people.   The desert is an ocean.   We say goodbye to Ken our campmate and head back to Reno and civilization.  We are sad to leave Miju and  Gideon and the boys behind.

We are all negotiating life.   We should have more immediacy.   We should leave no trace except our memories.  We should try to make the world and not just people better.  We are all too constrained by our "lives of quiet desperation"   We should not have to go to Burning Man to realize that civic self expression is important.   We are reminded by Burning Man that we should all participate in our society and that art and music and love are important.   We should not judge people by their cover.   We simply should not judge but include.

Hotel Tonight takes us back to civilization and we are decompressing today at the Peppermill, a Reno resort.   We let the waters take some of the playa dust off.   My skin is raw and dry.   It is sanded.  My soul is clear and there is work to do.  We get breakfast in bed.    Joan is looking for running water.  It costs moreto  clean the car than to rent it.  The Peppermill scrubs us clean but the Playa dust is in our pores and in  our souls.

Saturday, the Man burns.   People are still coming into Black Rock City to see the final ceremony.   The week of Burning Man is more than the burning of the statue.   I am very impressed by the various camps and the gifiting of knowledge, service and food.   Humans cooperating and gifting their talents is a prescription for a Utopia.  We should have more Burner concepts in our society.

The winds are suppose to pick up to near gale, Force 8 on the playa on Saturday.       We will be back home tonight.   I am sitting on the starboard part of this jet that is riding the ocean of the Jet stream.  We are carrying back the playa dust along with the memories.   The camping was difficult.  The art was beautiful.  The wedding was transformative.  

We are all  Star Bar F, billion year old carbon.  We will return to dust and dust.  Our bodies are mostly water.  We  will recycle back to the atmosphere and then to the  oceans.  Live life.   Express your love.   Include people.  Make beautiful things.   Do not be afraid to change the world and those around you for the better.    Make your life a gift to those people around you.   These are thoughts and sentiments that we bring back from Burning Man and the brilliant couple.    Thank you Miju and Gideon.  Thank you Camp Star Bar F. 

I am going to camp out on the land    I am gonna to try and get my soul free…

---Woodstock, J. Mitchell